the good, the bad... and the... uh... worse
Some of the guys have been complaining that Ghetto Booty gets ZERO appreciation, especially after reading GHETTO BOOTY VS LARD ASS. They felt we were too hard on ghetto booty, and didn't show all the types of ghetto booty, thus ghetto booty admirers all seem like guys who like huge sloppy ass, which is not true. Good point, fellas. I'm here to let them know that ghetto booty has it's place, amongst its fans, but in terms of a NICE ASS, ghetto booty does NOT equal a nice ass. So many Ghetto Booty admirers tend to like the really really large asses, some ghetto booty backsides don't even resemble an ass anymore, still dudes will love it. They like the huge size, no matter the form, and I think that's where we all go wrong. Doesn't an ass have to at least LOOK like an ass, for you to appreciate it? Some of the fans have pointed me to links of ghetto booty, and they're close-ups, and to be honest, I couldn't tell you what part I was looking at, of the woman. I couldn't differentiate stomach from ass. Seriously. lol All I saw was wide skin. So that's when I realized, dudes are tripping off of things like this :
You see sooo much meat, it overwhelms you. Is the same animal here, MORE size on her ass equals a nice ass, to this kind of guy. To each his own though, but for you people who are salivating over that pick, I challenge you to outline exactly what is so good about this ass? In fact, I don't see 1 thing, but I know what these dudes are keying in on: because of suggestive positions, clothing, but most likely, just because a woman is showing skin of a sexual area. In the case of big chicks in the pic above, she's so big, that's a LOT of skin she's showing off and for these dudes, the bigger the better. It's kind of like going to an all you can eat buffet, stacking 2 full plates of food, when you know damn well you can only handle HALF of 1 plate! The eyes eat more than the stomach, is the saying. girl showing lots of skin and a WIDE, HUGE backside. See, these dudes don't really care if the ass is shaped nicely, they just want to see anyting that takes up a lot of space! So the ghetto booty specialist will give us the skinny on good and bad ghetto booty.
Now, the rest of us will look at that photo and probably want to puke. It's because you don't fall for the optical illusion that most guys are doing, to look at that ass and say it's a good ass. You're not being a SPOT CHECKER to the level of the guys who like this kind of ass.
What is a SPOT CHECKER? Ok, what's hot about this woman, to the left? HUGE TITS! Well a spot checker will not bother to notice the huge stomach, no body structure that looks hot, nothing.. .just HUGE TITS (as is why this lady is showing off just that- those). That's what a spot checker does, nothing else matters but this woman's tits! He's a guy who will key in only 1 or 2 major points on a chick and decide from that whether or not she's the hottest things around- while completely ignoring every other logical reason why she's not hot. In this pic above, AT THE VERY LEAST, the spot checker is looking at the huge ass cheeks and that's all he needs to see! The belly can be HUGE, sloppy, legs lined with cellulite (normal for any ghetto booty though), but that guy doesn't see that. That shit is a BLUR to him. Want to experience what he sees? Ok check this grapic below and follow the instructions:
Did you see the rings moving? THAT IS HOW THE SPOT CHECKER WORKS! He keys in on only the tits, ass, hair, whatever, and is blind to the rest. He could bone almost any chick and still get a great nut off, while most of us would puke or lose the woody after peeping pure sloppiness.
Note: For a lot of black dudes, for some reason, they see the fat, sloppy white skin and they fall in love! If it were a black woman, the same size, he'd not likley fall all over it. Like this pic here, that I asked that guy who sent the pic of the beachwhale (up top) if he liked this black chick in this photo here:
and he answered, emphatically, HELL MOTHERFUCKING NO to... lol uhh but they LOVE, fat, sloppy white girls. She's the same as that huge white girl, in my mind!
See this picture above. Note that the ass is HUGE and the waist is TINY! That makes for the best kind of ghetto booty out there. That ass has to jump OUT at you and that can't happen unless the WAIST/ HIPS, ASS and THIGHS are in order. These affect how juicy or not an ass will be. If there are no clear separations of those areas, chances are you will not see a nice ass. What you'll instead see, is a lump of meat, with a beer belly, in jeans with it's crack showing. Oh yeah, sounds hot to you, eh? Well that could be the description of your uncle Ted, the plumber, too, so rethink that for a minute. lol
As said earlier, the Ghetto Booty HAS to at least look like a booty. You can't just qualify it as just a hunk of fat with a poop-chute. Naah. It has to have some FORM to the booty. But what gives it form? Well if you remember, if when it was smaller, it had form, if the chick didn't pig out completely, she might still have a slim waist and a HUGE backside. This tends to be the most popular kind of ghetto booty, where yes the eyes eat more than you can handle, but it's so cartoonishly BIG that you can't help but crash your car as you're driving by it. So that we may put some visuals to the verbal description, view this flick below:
As you could see, below the ass cheeks were very DEEP and well defined creases, which highlight where the ass cheeks separate from the body. You can look at this body and tell 100% that this was a KILLER years ago, when she was slimmer. An now, she's still rocking with that booty, it's just a LOT bigger. Still, notice how the ass cheeks maintained their roundness. They did not sink to the bottom of her thigh (another section we'll take on later). See the deeper the ass crack, the bigger the ass cheeks, and ultimately the more likley the ass will have a lot of room to dangle, as gravity makes an ass a long, nasty Large Marge kind of ass. That's what a majority of the women out there have, but they're fronting like they have a nice ghetto booty. Compare that video to the asses you see, day to day. They look like this? I don't think so! The ass in this video has ass cheeks which clearly are still defying gravity, have not eroded into the back of the leg and although she has thigh fat, did not become fused with that thigh/hip fat. Instead, she stays very shapely , with a nice waistline, no long ass and not too much thigh size. The WAIST/HIPS, ASS, THIGHS are in order on this woman, this is a top class ghetto booty and to the surpise of many, for it's size, there is very little cellulite! It's almost impossible to have a ghetto booty and not have cellulite, so if you bump into this kind of ass, marry her and take her off of the market, immediately. To not do so is just GAY!
Another reason shape is important is so that dudes stop sweating these flat, wide asses that women have. This was a clip sent by a fan who said this was a nice ass to him (and is what his wife has so he married her):
While I respect your likes, I can't say I agree this ass is nice. It's pale and you can't see the dimples in the video, to your point, but it's wide, flat, and it's only taking the appearance of a round butt when she bends over. Look at the ass crack, it's almost nonexistant because this woman does not have an ass! There are no ass cheeks, it's just wide hips, ass, fat legs all tied into 1 monster. This is the SLOPPY, bottom of the barrel kind of ghetto booty that guys like. She's dressed up in sexy gear but that doesn't make her ass a nice ghetto booty. Sorry guys, not convincing me of that one. That ass is flat and wide, there is no need to show that off. But you'll go crazy over them anyway, but when I pull up a chick's skirt, and THIS is all I see
I'm not going to get a woody! Just not happening!
Why is shape important? Well, considering that chicks dress a part and try to cover up so much of the insecurity they have, while also trying to entertain, if she does NOT have a good body, but she's sloppy with a large backside, she's going to say she's THICK or she has a GHETTO BOOTY. That makes her feel good thinking that she is in a crowd of accepted ass, when really, she's not. If your shape is sloppy and you have a large ass, you still look nasty and most dudes will not check you. But the spot checker will, he's the real problem. He's the problem that has women without a good shape, but are fat, sloppy and showing skin, think they're hot and are paying hundreds of dollars to photoshop pictures to look sexy. Observe:
Nasty looking body, sloppy belly, no waist, hips, or ass definition looks like THIS!!!! Now do you see why it's important to have these? No Airbrush/photoshop job or clothes you can buy can fake out a non spot checker.
This is why the shape of her body counts for a LOT, so always do a WAIST/HIP, ASS, THIGH check. You know when you see her coming, you say to yourself, "damn her ass is so PHAT I can see it from the front!"? Well that's because you've mentally done your checking and have really just done what we're suggesting. You've done a sweep of ther WAIST/HIPS and THIGHS, from the front. If that body is a pear shape, it's still all good too! That's the beauty of ghetto booty, there is a lot of flexibility of a good ghetto booty if these areas are maintained. The body to the left has a crazy separation of upper body and the lower body, and is outrageously beautiful at the waist area. This body makes is IMPOSSIBLE for you to be a spot checker. You have many many good things on this woman to like, you have more than 1 thing about her that you're checking for and this is the body that delivers for you, as through the years, you can see that fat/muscle get distributed to the thighs, ass more than the rest of the body. If you like your ghetto booty as I do, this factors MUST be present or I will not even LOOK at it. I don't spot check, it's boring and uneventful. A woman like this, you'll love to caress her all night, all over her body. Couple her attributes with a nice walk, you're done for fellas! A spot checker likes a chick that you really only play with that 1 thing you like and after that you're completely bored with her once you realize that ALL she has and the rest of her looks like crap! This woman has 10 years more of this form!
Now this one, below, is a chick with a Ghetto Booty Lite. Because she ass creases are so deep and her waistline is in check, she can go up a few levels in Ghetto Booty size, before she breaks form. She's about 15 years of ghetto booty in her. Note the Waist, Ass, Thighs! Right on point!
Oh yes, BOUNCE is very important when peeping a ghetto booty! You see the video, you see that ass is NOT hanging on the floor, it's nice and pakred up high, where it's supposed to be, and even when it's in motion, still holds form. See how springy it is? THAT is why bounce is important. Many people don't consider this aspect, but it needs to be understood and respected. A ghetto booty is a LOT of ass meat, and most times that ass consists of a lot of meat that is not necessarily MUSCLE mass. It's mostly fat, on a bulk of the women with these types of asses. With that being said, GRAVITY is as much of an enemy of ghetto booties as is a Cinnabun danish! Gravity pulls the ass down, while a Cinnabun pulls her ass out wide! lol
It's this reason alone that many women have to equipt themselves with some sort of garment which will act as a supporting mechanism, somewhat like a bra does to tits, but for her ass. You won't realize that that's what she's doing, because you'll think it's fashion, but it's in most of the pants women wear today. The spandex fit of pants that mold and shape a butt, then cuff it and bring it up higher is a trick that is used to help give the ass the BOUNCE you see when a chick is walking in the street. But that's just it, as we like to point out, here as Assmatrix.com, the clothes are substituting for affects we'd like the ladies' asses to be able to do NATURALLY! The tightness of the pants, and it's ability to hold the ass up and make it look so springy and animated is what we like to see without pants. That explains our fascination for liking stripper type movements that our women do where they POP THAT BOOTY, or do ASS VULCANOS. You're saying that you like the elasticity and BOUNCE of a booty. When you smack an ass, you want to see it BOUNCE back. You don't just want to see it wiggle, it should SPRING back to form. The better the SPRING back to form, the better the ass! You'd like to play with a woman's ass when it has that bounce. You ever see someone playing with a jiggly, flat ass? Where they scoop it from the bottom? You ever wonder what they're really playing with there? It's easy, it's not ass, it's jiggly flat fat that has no bounce!
, That's a GRIMACE ass! You're cuffing that nasty shit that folds up at the bottom of the ass, dude! Most sloppy ghetto booties started off as Grimaces with extra fat slabs piling up.
Bounce is important for when a woman is standing still or when she is in motion. The one thing real ass enthusiasts hate, no matter what kind of ass is out there, is the kind of ass the only jiggles and has no bounce. You see that woman running for a train, or just running across the street because you're pointing a HD-Camera towards her anus, but you catch that nasty jiggly piece of fat that hangs off the ass, or even worse, when the whole ass is just a long jiggly piece of meat flapping. If you recall, from our piece on INSTA-ASS PANTIES, women wear those things to keep the fat, sloppy asses from JIGGLING, and to make the ass bounce as a whole! BEYONCE, the singer, wears those ARTICLE FROM ASSMATRIXRELOADED: READ ME They want that snap-back factor, so they get the panties that are granny panties and scrunch up the ass so that when you see it, it BOUNCES, rather than jiggles (optical illusion). See, without those pants and panties and special tricks, that ass jiggles like this
It's a long ass, usually, it has no form, just fat jiggly down a back. At the bottom is where the fat all collects, and you can wiggle it from the bottom like that. THOSE TWO UP TOP ARE NOT ASSES WITH BOUNCE!!! That's a jiggly ass, a fruit at the bottom looking ass. So a Ghetto Booty can be able to wobble, wiggle, but should have minimual JIGGLE. The ass cheeks must move as a unit and bounce, now wiggle like water in a bag! It's important to know this because when she's walking, The larger the ass the more likely there is jiggle, but if the ass cheeks are really there, and it's a Ghetto Booty, no matter how large, it will have less jiggle. Even big girl here has minimal jiggle, as opposed to the much smaller asses up top
And even yes that ass can be HUGE at times, but compared to a droopy, watery, jiggly ass, which effect looks much better to the eye? BOUNCE is VERY IMPORANT!
Last, and most intimate, is the ass GRABABILITY. What is the point of admiring an ass that you can't even play with? Do you need to go overboard with such HUGE asses when your hands can't even grip or cover even 1/1000th of 1 ass cheek? lol Some of you dudes are crazy, out there. When gripping an ass, I'm thinking more along the lines of coving a nice cheek, to play with an sculp and admire like this
This ass is nice and rotund, my whole hand can enjoy this as I carve out the curves and then can smack it and enjoy the bounce effect that was mentioned ealier. That is Not what is happening in this next shot below:
It's a mushy ass. Look at the indents it makes where the thumbs are. This is of the bad glass of ghetto booty. Instead of being more firm, it's just watery. That's not the kind of shit that I think of when I think of grabbing my woman's ass. It's it's playdough here, like you're molding it like hamburger meat! While it might feel soft, it's not really backed by any substance. It's all loose fat. Luckily for the guy here, that as is a smaller kind of ghetto booty, so it's managable. But what would it look like if the ass were to be bigger? You'd get the typical ass that most dudes get all hyped up off of, until they grab it, at least. The kind of sloppy ass that comes apart without tight pants on., as seen below:
That ass ... what ass???!!! Look at the hands all HIGH on the backside. He doesn't even know WHERE to grab, it's just so much and so much loose, jiggly meat that you don't even know what you're grabbing, mostly. Is that ass, back fat or leg that he's grabbing? I really can't tell the difference with these chicks. Because of the amount of fat on this butt, you can tell that it's a sloppy jiggler. Look at the indent where his hand is.
A nice ghetto booty will make you become very PLAYFUL!!! What else are you to do with an ass that's so big you don't know what to do with it? You want to each lunch on it, use it as a bed pillow... you become so consumed with the size that you really can't stop touching it! Ladies with this kind of ass know what I mean. They can't keep their dudes from touching their asses when they go by. What? I know you're not saying that when this ass right here goes by, that you will not turn away from the FOOTBALL GAME, OR XBOX FELLAS (if you don't, I'd question your manhood more if you ignored this and continued to cheer for a bunch of men in tights)
Now, some of you are going to say that large asses like that can't be grabbed by every type of hand, and that is true, physicallly, but you don't have to be able to PALM an as, just have to be able to cuff meat in a way where you hand is cuffed and you're craddling some ass. Unlike grabbing the droopy fat of a butt, if a gheto booty has GRABABILTY, when you go to SMACK that ass, to create the BOUNCE effect, chances are you want to keep your hand there and put that shit in a headlock too. lol But not every big boot is cuffable but that won't stop you, even if your hands are too small. If the meat is thick enough, you'll come up with a ROUND handful of butt that you can cuff.
and you're going to play with it and so all kinds of silliness to it but note the factors mentioned earlier, and you can only wrap around her because she doesn't have a huge goddamn belly that clogs up the waistline, plus her ass has that bounce to it that makes you even want to beat on it like a drum. lol
These are the types of ghetto booties that you can't stop touching. No one does this on jiggly butts because it doesn't look or feel right. Maybe in the heat of the moment, when you're turning into a spot checker, you will not bother to look at what you're doing, but if you enjoy a nice fine ass, you'll normally only want to grab that kind of ass.