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GHETTO BOOTY SECTION:
Nice Tush or Mush? You might be a LARD ASS and not have a Ghetto Booty
that is good! Know the difference?
Most don't, and love shots like this (especially black guys)! mmmm mmm good lol ![]() You ask the average 'ghetto booty' lover, "what's a nice ass?", and he's most likely to tell you the biggest ass he can find is HOT! It doesn't have to be firm, it doesn't have to look like a nice ass, hell, it doesn't even have to look like an ass for this guy. It can look like two huge legs attached to a flat back, he wouldn't care- because he doesn't know the difference between that an a good, huge ass. To him, MASS = NICE ASS! You can't tell him difference, he likes it large like a barge! You say LARD ASS, he's going IN on it like this: ![]() As long as it's a HUGE AMOUNT OF BUTT FAT/ LEG FAT/ HIP FAT, whatever, he's a happy camper. Because of this, all kinds of beast chicks are coming out of the woodworks and thinking they're sexy. They're putting up all kinds of pics, making money and all that. While I'm not one to hate on someone getting paid off of weaklings, I don't like this fat shit being passed for THICK chicks, even worse, a sloppy ass passing for a nice, big one. These are XBBW, GROSSLY OBESE CHICKS, not THICK CHICKS. Now, a ghetto booty, due to this re-classification by these dumb cats calling fat chicks 'thick', can have a whole RANGE of butt sizes, from cartoonishly big to WATER BUFFALO BIG, like the pics above. But the key difference between the sizes, is one STILL LOOKS LIKE A WOMAN'S ASS, and the other is like a cow's raw hide! For example, pics like these (below) are sent to us, from guys taking pics of their girls, and they're asking us to rate these 'thick' Ghetto Booties: ![]() ![]() In fact, most of the stuff people share with us, is not thick, not bootilicious, not even the type to get a double-take, if you saw it on the street. What we notice is that those whom like the huge booties, tend not to even notice the FORM of the booties they worship, instead they worship the pure size and color of the woman. So apparently, some of our bigger booty lovers are missing the point to what makes a nicer bigger booty, but also, we realize that a lot of dudes hating on the bigger sizes, hate what the lovers of the bigger sizes like. The problem is the haters see: fat, wide, droopy, cellulite-plagued, which actually are the things that the fans of anything BIG in the booty area, like, or overlook. In doing this, the kinds of Ghetto Booty that should get noticed, are getting lumped with the stereotypical, lame big booties, and that's where WE draw the line! We must help you separate out the good from the bad, and find a common ground we can all agree on. Applying our general philosophy to booty, of all sizes, you too should find an appreciation of the bigger sizes with form. That is the goal here, let's try to highlight some differences in what makes a typical sloppy Ghetto Booty, versus slightly more appreciated Ghetto Booty.
1) Exhibits A and B both have normal Mystery Spaces, with a little big of fat on them, which from the side would look like part of the ass, but you can see it's not. 2) Both have ass cracks that start pretty high up and are deep, and at the very top of the ass crack, there are nice indents separating the top of the ass, showing there is a nice big of meat at the top of the booty, that the ass crack is splitting. Following the ass crack downward, Exhibit A has an ass crack that doesn't seem so round towards the bottom, as if all the real meat with action is on the top half of the booty and the bottom kind of squares off. Her Ass Smile seems leveled off, at the base. Exhibit B, however, has a round look to the bottom of her booty, and the Ass Smile is well curved. 3) Both have ass creases that make it about/just over half of the diameter of the leg, but the Exhibit A's bulb of the butt isn't protruding, even though she's squeezing her cheeks together. Her booty should look like Exhibit B's booty does, in this position. So Exhibit A falls flat in the bulb region, while Exhibit B's bulb really doesn't have any meat there, suggesting the roundest part of the booty is higher up on the booty. 4) Exhibit A has a dent in the side of her right side, which if you inspect, shows you a flatness of the booty, as you go further down. It also shows that there is no roundness on this booty that would help it protrude further, other than at the very top of the booty. Exhibit B, however, has a very round booty on the sides, and although leg fat is intruding, you can see the booty's outline from top to bottom roundness. It only tapers off at the leg, but there is separation of leg and butt. Exhibit B is greater than Exhibit A by far! Exhibit B is good Ghetto Booty that remains consistent no matter the pose. Exhibit A is typical shape-shifting Ghetto Booty. 1) Exhibit A and B both have small Mystery spaces but the top of Exhibit A's booty doesn't have any BUMP to it, while Exhibit B has two bumps coming off of he ass cheeks, at the top. Exhibit A seems to be on more of a slope. 2) Both have deep ass crack that start high, but again, Exhibit B is the one with the meat that seems to really get split by the ass crack, not to mention the ass crack moves downward in a consistent path, on Exhibit B, while Exhibit A's ass crack twists and turns a bit, especially towards the bottom of the booty. It's not a consistent curve for Exhibit A, but Exhibit B is right on point, perfect curvature! 3) The bulb of Exhibit A is sunken, and breaks the overall curvature of the booty. The ass crease turns in then out every few inches, no consistency in roundness, at any point in the bottom half of the booty. The ass crack barely makes it to about 50% of the length of the back of the leg, but there isn't enough strong fat or muscle to back that bulb, so it sinks and shifts about since it's loose down there. On the other hand, Exhibit B has a very round bulb, and you won't see an ass crease because that bulb lifts off of the back of the leg perfectly, showing you the roundness is up much higher on the booty. 4) Exhibit A's booty curves in and out a lot, but the overall shape of it has to be a Tear Drop. The top is sloped, the middles, where the most shine is, highlights that is the about where the booty pokes out the furthest, and continues to slope downward after that point. The sides of the booty fuse too much into the leg, so you can't really see a clear separation. The outer leg fat takes away from this booties definition and the most is is a Ghetto Booty that isn't perky, but sits low due to size and gravity. However, Exhibit B has MORE ass, is round all at the top, the side and the bottom of the booty. There is CLEAR ass definition in all angles of the booty and it's clear this booty is perky, although huge. It maintains roundness on every possible edge of the booty that you can find. This booty is Ghetto Booty Elite! Exhibit B is greater than Exhibit A by far! Exhibit B is Elite Ghetto Booty that remains consistent no matter the pose. Exhibit A is typical huge collection of ass meat where the Ass Smile is the only thing keeping the form of the booty. |

| Silly Putty:
As the fat
piles on, a real ghetto booty will keep it's form still, lard ass will
be all over the place. Another way that good Ghetto Booty differs from the lard ass version, is in how it changes with time. Through the ages, you know that booty doesn't stay the same right? Chicks with 2 burger a day diets, and bad genetics, pile on the pound in very different ways than women blessed with genetics that place the fat in the booty meat area, and properly. One can't necessarily work out and get a good Ghetto Booty, so to say, unlike smaller classes of booties, genetics play a heavy role! OK, let's examine just what is on these ghetto booties and lard asses. You really must use this portion of the education to pick the lady you're going to wife up. You know dudes get pissed off when their girl has a baby and gets all fucking nasty looking, but there are way to protect your interests (her ass shape, and your erection), and here's how you find out if it's worth the ride. Forget looking at how her mama came out, that's failed shit since the crap they eat is different, and hormones, proteins and a bunch of other crap has infiltrated our foods today. Mama's diet is different from daughter, and don't forget the dad's genes intervened too, in making the girl in question. So throw that logic out! You're looking for your girl to pass the ghetto booty longevity test! Much like the 50 year old chick with BODY, from the pic earlier, as the meat piles on a ghetto booty, if it's really real, it doesn't lose it's form! The trick is that some ghetto booties come stacked with a lot of fat, but that ass is backed by nice meat that is solid, thus it holds form very well, as it expands. This coupled with deep, well defined Ass Smiles will hold the meat in place and accent it nicely! Others just pile on the fat and lose shape very easily because all it ever was was a small ass that gained a bunch of fat on it. Even if that ass had a deep Ass Smile, it's not guaranteed the ass will remain in the form it once was, especially since the fat onslaught is coming from hips, back and legs, and eating away at booties, through the years. The booty meat has to out-pace the fat collection from these other paces. If this does not happen, that ass quickly becomes a lard ass, filled with cellulite, drooping all over the place because the fat couldn't fill properly, which creates the pockets in the skin. We're talking about the difference then, in booties that bounce, versus booties that just jiggle about. Ass that
will BOUNCE is ass that looks like this:
while Ass
that will jiggle/wiggle all over the place, and shape shift, will look
like this:
You want to avoid the latter, so how do you tell if it's the latter if you can't easily identify by sight? Well, rely on touch! Yes, if you can't grab that ass properly, but it's supposedly a big ass, then you don't really have a BIG ASS in front of you. Instead, you look like this shit here: Ass that you can't even grab, but is large and wide! Not Good Ghetto Booty! Learn how to pick better! That's wide, flat and wack! What would you grab, on that backside, in this situation? Do you even see anywhere that could produce a handful of ass? You'd have to reach down below, under that meat collection, to find anything you could. Terrible ass! You couldn't do what we call the MUSH PUSH, or the PUSH OVER, we call it in a sexual move, where you take as much ass meat as possible, and push it up to see how that ass shapes. If you can't push any meat up, in a collection that is uniform, then that is NOT a real Ghetto Booty. Want to see what that looks like? Look to the column to the right. |
It's quite simple. Tell your girl
you're going to massage her ass, and while you're doing it, shift the
booty meat about, seeing how far it moves in each direction. See, the
booty is going to be either a mix of muscle and fat, but there isn't
much muscle backing, or hard fat, you have a bunch of loose, jiggly
meat- which is what most Ghetto Booties are.
Here's a side view. If the cheeks are pushed from underneath, what's going to happen? Is it going to flop to the sides? Notice that the shots up top, and this one, feature women laying on their stomachs. It is HARD to pull this move off on a woman who has no ass! The gravity makes the asses flatten in this position, not bulge out, so if you see some bulge, that woman has ass! Look at this pic below, laying down on her stomach and the ass is already poking out. ![]() Now, if it's pushed from
underneath, you think it will fall apart?
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| Morphing booty meat:
Loose booty meat wobbles
so much it looks like a different booty in every different angle! I guess that's the real problem in trying to determine if that ass is a good Ghetto Booty, or the sloppy Ghetto Booty that's just a lard ass. ![]() You look at an ass and you're not sure what the fuck is the ass and what's the rest, many times. Many dudes are confused and that's why they call PIG TAIL chicks apple bottoms, incorrectly. Just what IS the butt and what's the rest? You're looking at it like this and it looks all like a completely round ass to you. Well this is a bad example actually, because what's she's doing here to the right, is she's just using another technique of 'bending over'. Bending over, as you know, forces the ass cheeks to look full and round, then the shot is taken from under the ass. But when when we straighten this out, it's easier to diagnose. All you see is a thong disappear in the crack of an ass. You see shine on the ass, suggesting it's a bulbous ass, this ass even comes equipped with a long ass crack. It's clearly a ghetto booty, but not easy to see which class right now, in this one position. Let's straighten it out and get a better view. What
does this ass REALLY look like? Look below!!!! YOU WERE FOOLED! Not so
round now, is it?
Right where the
pink straps end,
notice, SO TOO DOES THE ASS. LMAO! All that
extra stuff is
fat from the outer thighs and hips, and this ass is basically just held
together with the ass crack being so deep and the ass crease making it
less then 50% of the length of the back of the leg. Basically, the
effect is you cut a bowl of Jello down in the middle and it wiggles all
about in all kinds of directions, but you caused the jello to have form
due to the slice you made. That's all this is,the folds are making what
looks like a butt here, and it's all loose fat really. That
is surely NOT the signs of a good ghetto booty, because it should not
be all lose like that so that it morphs into so many different shapes,
every time you see it in another light. The meat that changes
shape is definitely a lard ass. You'll see something good one shot,
next it's trash. |
Here is
where the typical ass observer gets into problems
determining if it's a nice ass or not. Look at this pics
below. Which ass
cheek is the REAL size of her ass? ![]() ![]() Most dudes will say that the RIGHT ass cheek is the real size of the ass, why? Because it's the BIGGEST ASS CHEEK! See they see the huge mass that is the thigh, leg and hip fat combined and call that an ass, when it's really the ass cheek on the LEFT that highlights what's really the ass cheek. Right where the thong disappears, that inner area is the ass cheek (where circled). A real, nice big ass shouldn't shift about so! It should have clear-cut definition of ass cheeks and the straps are really there to mask the fact that only the circled piece is booty meat, while everything else is just leg fat! If this ass was in motion, it would be very sloppy and droopy. Remove the straps, and it's pretty apparent that the ass is flat, wide and big, right? So that's morphing cheeks that look more appealing in sexy positions, but the other trick is the misdirection with clothing. |
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Tricks are for PIGS!: all kinds of tricks are used, just like smaller women do, to convince you an ass is hot, when it's not. You're walking by, you spot this ass on a corner. BAMMMM You're fucked up, that's a nice tight ghetto booty, right? It's all confined to the tight space of that dress, spandex or the tight pants. The material of the clothes are so non-porous that you can't see any dents, and pants force shape too. That looks like THE perfect ghetto booty. Why, the ass isn't even drooping down, it's resisting gravity and is perfectly shaped round, right? The trouble with the bigger sizes bodies, is the clothing throws all kinds of tricks in to play, where chicks are tucking their tits in the pants and shit, but you're like 'DAMN THAT'S HOT'. The pants and clothing can stick a bunch of fat from 1 area, and redistribute it to a completely different area. The bad thing is that area that collects all the fat tends to be the booty and thighs. So what you see, that looks so tight and thick is not tight and thick, it's the clothing shape shifting the fat into eye popping scenery. This is the greatest tool in the sloppy booty arsenal. The trick that skinny, flat chicks use are different from what fat chicks use to mask what their bodies really look like. And most guys are caught up over them too. It's simple, the fat women know things that most stupid men fall for. So what the will do is mentally list things men fall for, and in what order you're likely to succeed in doing the tricks. If she feels that the top in the list is good enough, she will do that, but if she's trying to make a KILLING on you, well she's simply combine a few tricks to keep your brain busy enough to mask what she's really trying to do, fool you! Simple things work like:#1 TOP TRICK: Pose
in a really whorish position
![]() ![]() Any old big shit is NOT good shit, just like any of HUGE ASS doesn't make a NICE ASS. The form is gone, there is no physical sexiness happening in the 2nd pic. So when we check for big chicks, we're checking for the FIRST picture, NOT that second picture. Still, both of the pics above can't capture pull off fully, what a booty that is really nice and big at the same time can do, which is in ANY POSITION, that ass looks the best shit ever. If that big ass is really a good Ghetto Booty, then that woman can even be sleeping, laying flat, after a magnificent round of fucking, and that ass will still pop out without her trying- or knowing! :) ![]() |
#2 TOP TRICK:
Wear something whorish
Who's going to
complain about a woman wearing a G-string, thong, or a self strap-on
that is inside of her (don't think that they have that yet, but I'm
just saying), no matter how wack her body is? Well yeah that was a
trick question, actually. If her body isn't appealing, changes are it
negates all the tricks she's trying to do. Now sloppy chicks
know that, and if they're trying to pass for thick, they'll get really
clever by doing the #1 TOP TRICK combo with the #2 TOP TRICK.
See, wearing something whorish, by itself, doesn't work as
well as positioning yourself in a whore manor. If a woman doesn't have
the body to successfully rock what she's wearing, then she will most
likely do a combo of #1 and #2. It's for this reason that
poses are the number 1 trick, but clothing is the number 2. Observe:That ass is corny and uneventful. It's big, yes, the legs are big, yes- she has a new psycho haircut... ok .. but what she's wearing doesn't work with the body she has, and she knows it. Look at her face, it's screaming "shit, I hope I can pull this off and fool the on-looker". She has the see-thru shirt to reveal a bra and the heels, lipstick... but that ass is annoying! It's droopy with no real form and the top of the panties are jacked up way high! She knows her ass is flat, on a fatter body. So this is an example of wearing slutty things, but not being able to convey the message of slutty, which is supposed to fool me. So doing the #2 trick alone won't always cut it in most cases. So throw that girl in a compromising position, along with the slutty pose and .... VOILA! Instantly fuckable, thick, sexy, hot all that you make yourself think. Quickly flash back to the 1st pic though, that's the real ass. It would look WORSE if she didn't have the sexy clothing on, think about that. Here she's more comfortable, you can't see the real ass, you can only see the Pig Tail class booty with the ass meat under the body. But the thong is splitting the cheeks, and although there is no real cheek definition here, the people who showed this to in the forums were salivating all over this. There is no ass. It's all leg fat, hip back that goes right into the back, which is covered up by that shirt, on purpose. She knows to keep that shirt on! That's part of the other trickery, which we'll highlight in a minute. Still, that's not thick, and there is no ass, it's a girl who should be skinny, but is fat, and the ass stayed the way it was on the skinny body, while the rest of her continued to grow. The problem is, you've just read this, and you said "but I'll still hit it". Oh brother! lol |