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CLASS / ATTRIBUTES OF COMMON ASS
Apparently, similar to what happened with the term "THICK,"(see the link for details), people are once again STRETCHING the definitions of other good terms, we good men come up with, and then TELL US that they are what they clearly aren't. For instance, huge fat chicks are saying they're THICK, and have APPLE BOTTOM booties, when really they're OBESE with wide, fat PIG TAILS, LARGE MARGE, OR JUST FLAT asses or just bad GHETTO BOOTIES! So many are saying they have the most extremely paid attention to booties, that they're overlooking what their asses REALLY look like. Most times, you really don't know what the hell you're looking at and because you have no reference, you quickly call out APPLE BOTTOM or GHETTO BLASTER (aka Pumpkin Bottom- which sounds stupid, so Ghetto Blaster or Elite Ghetto Booty is used). Most times, dudes will call something out and I'll just look at them silly. They will debate it and while they're talking realize it's not really what they said it was, they just had no reference but the excellent extremes. Most asses are not the extremes we love, thus we appreciate the extremes when we see them. CLASSES OF BOOTY: APPLEBOTTOM, TEAR DROP, FLAT, PIG TAIL and GHETTO BOOTY, and each of these classes have a good and bad (yes even flat butts appeal to many). These 5 really make up the bulk of what the shapes of the asses look like, more or less. There are some lines that are blurred, they're HYBRIDS. For instance a former AppleBottom or TearDrop could have dropped a baby and/or ate 1 too many Cheetos and her ass cheeks are so round that they don't lose form as she got bigger. This kind of butt turns into a huge version of the Applebottom or Tear Drop, but it has some wear and tear where it's not quite what it used to be. Still it's big and good n some cases it's better at the bigger size, and that is what we call the GHETTO BLASTER or GOOD/ELITE GHETTO BOOTY. That's the shit that makes your jaws drop at the shape given it's size. Genetic anomaly, which means it's very very very rare to have naturally, nowadays. It's GHETTO BOOTY SIZED but it actually has GOOD FORM to it, and that's Good GhettoBooty, unlike the ghetto booties that when you take those pants off, it turns into Jabba the Hut's ass. Still, the overall shape of the booty will no doubt be 1 of these classes. There are too many combos to illustrate, but the most common we provide for you to gage with your own eyes. ATTRIBUTES OF BOOTY: Booties failing to fall in the better categories (AppleBottom, Tear Drop, Ghetto Booty) aren't talked about commonly, and are almost absent from conversation. A booty is mostly only talked about if a booty is the type that is currently being used as a meal ticket for that possessor of it. Regular booty is just something many don't bring up, yes, your girlfriend, your wife, you teacher, etc. Most women have regular, unattractive or uninspiring asses, and we make up things to try to spice them up, or women put on tight clothing to fake like they're in the exciting categories. Many don't want to see that trickery, so the every day booties go ignored, but since this is an Ass-Edu-tainment site, we like to discuss the many versions of booty out there (which is still incomplete as we are discovering and reclassifying each day). You can call a booty FLAT, but then you notice some extra stuff happening with an ass that you don't want to completely write it off as just being flat. Or you can see a but is HUGE and Ghetto Booty sized, but really it's FLAT with strange looking ass cheeks. What do you call it then? Some booties are hybrids between the different classes, even. So these are the attributes of the booties' actual shapes, directions, that give us insight into just what the hell we're watching. So you'll hear us refer to nick names for funny looking profiles of ass, in this section. We'll add more, as the days go on, but check for these asses and note the illustrations because what you thought was thick , you most likely just said, BLINDLY, because you didn't know how else to categorize it! This page will help clear some things so you can compare some things! The are also drawings, on the Internet, depicting over 20 types of booties, but that's not logical. The drawing are focusing on shapes of a body, and not the actual booty meat itself, which IS the actual butt. That's the problem with identifying booty types, most people are clueless as to what is a woman's butt, what is her hips, legs, back and the fat that is piled upon each of these other parts. So there are not more than maybe 6 types of booties, as booties are classified by shapes, not just size, and certainly NOT by the body type of the woman. Some classes of booty fit shapes better than others, but always check for the SHAPE of a booty, not the size, or what her hips and leg fat is doing.
CHECK
FURTHER DOWN THE PAGE FOR ACTUAL PICTURES OF THESE COMMON ASSES.
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APPLE
BOTTOM (Class of Ass): The TOP
of the ass has to be round, as well as the BOTTOM of
the ass (Ass Smile) to
be considered an Apple Bottom. Look at the logo people! Eat
an apple some day and look at it's shape! The
tops
of the ass cheeks (coming off of
the lower-back) have to be ROUND and so do the bottom of the ass cheeks
(coming off of the back of the thighs). That "bump" that jumps off the
top of the ass is the first indication of an AppleBottom and sets it
aside from the others classes of ass. It doesn't begin to
slope downward, in curvature, until after this 'bump' at the top of the
ass, separating it from say a Tear Drop, or Pig Tail. In most
cases, these
asses clearly
separate the thigh, back, and ass so you can easily pinpoint exactly
what is butt cheek and what is not. This is NOT the case on other
asses, in most cases, where you just don't know where the ass starts
or ends, in
relation to the midsection's backside. At its best,
Applebottom
IS the excellence in ass, a Gold Standard, not to be
thrown
around freely and carelessly when referencing ass. You must
EARN this status. When a lady has this, if she
stands straight up, you can clearly see her APPLE BOTTOM as it looks
like her butt is two volley balls. Apple Bottoms are most likely to be
in those with African blood/features, but also I've spotted these on
eastern European chicks too, whom've been physically active at some
point, in their lives. The woman with this ass does not
have to bend over to fake like having an ass, this ass is round from
every angle you look at and she needs no camera tricks to show it
off. If you say you have an Apple Bottom, and clearly you
don't,
most people will immediately SHIT ON YOUR OPINION,and we solute those
people who shit on you!
Apple Bottom
status is protected and is an exclusive club. Mofos buy chicks HOUSES
just for having ass like this! It
is NOT for the faint of heart, and you will
lose arguments, even on purpose, even dumb ones, when you
think
about your
woman with an Apple Bottom walking out the door on you.
Sometimes
you just have to put your ego aside, .... for her ASS of course, and
the sanctity
SKANK-tity
of your relationship!        |
Back View
Side profile
The ass starts to bump right after the lower-back and the roundness holds up until the finish of the butt, forming a completely round side profile. It will not look flat from any angle and magically holds itself up! This might be more than a handful, in most cases but most men will enjoy this! Studies show that African descendants (even Latino versions) LOVE this booty. Others tend to be more in love with the Tear Drop as see that as it's extreme in ass they can handle. You need big hands to cuff this booty and lots of stamina to hit it because it has a bounce back ability, due to the roundness, that most will bust too quick if they have this. Thus, most little dicked fellows are scared of this butt. Yes, men are scared of an Apple Bottom, and I'm not talking about the huge ones either.
What does an Apple Bottom look like, in motion?
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TEARDROP (Class
of Ass): An ass
that rounds off well, like a tear drop, and mostly bulbous
towards the
bottom. Similar
in structure to an
Apple Bottom, where
the bottom of the ass is
defined and round,
except,
the top part of the ass (coming off of the lower-back), isn't
really defined, or runs directly off
of the back with no major BUMP, just a nice SLOPE. The TEAR
DROP isn't a bad
thing, and looks very
good if there is a nice Ass Smile that is well defined. The top of the
ass is
still sloped greater than 30
degrees and
the ass IS
NOT
flat at
all,
just that it does not have the full
qualification to be an Apple Bottom (what are you going to call it, a
half an Apple Bottom???). The shape
at the bottom of the ass is still
rounded (thanks to the Ass Smile and fat collection), but the overall
ass looks like a TEAR
DROP (sloped
with a nice round finish and in control waistline). Tear
Drops are most likely to be in those with Indigenous/Caribbean-African
blood/features, as well as some ethnic European types. You'll
see MANY of these in a Brasil, Puerto
Rico, Dominican Republic, Cuba, Slavic nations, etc... Many
of these asses
are
commonly being mistaken for Apple Bottoms, especially since jeans lift
up the bulb of this ass and make it appear that there is a top of the
ass. Then you take the pants off and you are disappointed
that
it's not perfectly round from top to bottom. Don't despair, it's a Tear
Drop. There's fruit at the bottom like a Dannon Yogurt, bro! The
slimmer version of the booty will have a look that is like an Apple
Bottom-sans the top of the booty. The fuller version of the booty comes
complete with a huge collection of booty meat in the bulb, and it
spreads out as it reaches the bottom of the booty, like a cartoon
drawing. This is
why we bring this profile to your attention. Don't write it off, it is
a SWEET ass to have. If that bulb was very well defined and she got
very fat, that bulb would only get fatter too, and in that case
maintain it's shape. That version of the booty is Ghetto
Booty in
a Tear Drop form, thus the hybrid is a Ghetto Blaster. She shape amazes
you, given it's size. An example of this is what Angel Luv
Lola tried to create when she got those stupid implants in
her ass. Lite
Version
 Fuller Version      |
Back
View
Side profile of TearDrop: with a tight waistline, this is the preferred booty of Latinos! What does a Tear Drop look like, in motion? She
wants YOUR attention- yes you! |
GHETTO BOOTY
(Class of Ass): This
is America, and America is
the land of praise for excess! Well the love of this booty is no
exception! First, there is good Ghetto Booty and there is bad Ghetto
Booty. The good shit is coming through by the minute lately, as Ghetto
Booty internet models
now (like Buffy the Body or Courtney Black) get
play.
It's due to the fact that there aren't many like these chicks who have
nice normal bodies, but their ASSES and thighs happen to be thick.
These aren't the majority, because these are like Apple Bottoms, in
form, only much bigger. The ass is cartoonishly huge and round and you
can't believe your eyes at the size of it, yet it still looks like a
round booty but on a body it shouldn't be on since the body is so
small. Their asses maintain form, no matter how big they get (see
our guide to picking a good one before you wife it up and end up with
the Ghetto Booty we're about the rank on).
That's ELITE
Ghetto Booty, the
Ghetto Blaster, (you
PAY to see that ass) we're not covering that because that ass is not
common, and the Ghetto Booty type we're showing you here is the most
common, the OK to nasty version of it (the one you leave at night to go
PAY
to see the Elite Ghetto Booty models). To many
who see a huge round ass (because the ass is round no matter what),
it's all good and he can block out the knife stabs and US highway
stretch marks all over her ass, the ass lining having dark circles and
rings. Like a Botanist, I can look at the dark circles of these asses
and tell you the woman's age! The untrained eye, the SPOT CHECKER who
loves just size of her ass, he's focusing on looking like the king
who can control all of that meat with his dingaling. lol It's a
psychological thing to bone and control a body like this, in
particular,
to think your dick can go at a huge ass like this, you think your dick
is HUGE- except she's not letting you get anal on her, so that defeats
the purpose of a huge assed chick! lol It takes great mental capacity
to fuck this chick, I
can't, her ass stinks like sweat and shit because it's too big to wipe!
Now if it's a Ghetto Booty that is in form, the elite kind,
I'd
NEVER pass up a chance to hit it, but most Ghetto Booties are not
Ghetto Blasters! The Ghetto Blaster is the hybrid of either
Apple Bottom or Tear Drop. Most of the ones that send us pics
are
NOT the Buffy
the Body class asses, thus Buffy is famous and these other asses are
not. And Buffy has a dude who digs in her ass and oils it and
all
that other shit I saw on the video, to make sure it doesn't stink and
no one can see dinkleberries falling from her ass in photoshoots. |
Back
View 
Huge booties that most men can't possible have pleasure working against, especially in Doggy Style, unless they're over 9 inches long (see FATTY ASS for details), because you can't reach the poon with that ass in your chest and her inner thigh fat blocking your access to the hole! lol The other bad thing is most of them have HUGE BELLIES and THUNDER THIGHS. Inner thigh fat causes them to have to swing their legs around each other to move forward while outside of thigh looks terrible distorted and people think it's part of her ass, but all it does is make her ass WIDER. You'll also notice lots of cellulite on this type of ass. Type that likes these: SPOT CHECKERS. These are the types of guys that ONLY care about 1 section of the woman's body, this being the ass, and everything else is a blur- thus they only CHECK for certain SPOTS. So a chick can have a huge nasty belly, sloppy, pudgy legs and ugly face, but if she has a Ghetto Booty, SpotCheckers will definitely not care! The trade off is it's good when she's on her back because of the elevation due to her ass, you can produce better G-SPOT stimulation and get her to ejaculate. These ass cheeks mostly have no definition and can defy the laws of science. One cheek will not look symmetrical to the next, they have gunshot wounds in them, they can't fit in most pants... if not dressed up properly, Ghetto Booty looks terrible. In most cases, it's just a huge mound of fat and I don't see the appeal for most of it, but many women are trying to get the hugest ass possible, striving for a Ghetto Booty, but they are unaware that size doesn't matter if you don't have form. Many dudes just like the huge fat meat, but many more don't like huge ass without beautiful contours. Side profile Most often, with this type of body, the belly and love handles are out of control yet dudes tend to ignore this, concentrating only on the booty when this profile goes by. Most of these types have a GUT that's bigger than their BUTT! So you can understand why some guys only SPOT CHECK these bodies. There have been few breakthrus in this body though, where the booty used to be an Apple Bottom, at some point, and as the chick got fatter, the ass stayed in it's round form, but grew to a huge size- but that's rare. It moved out of cute Apple Bottom category to a monster sized Ghetto Booty, but it still looks good! The rest of the body is it's normal size and didn't get the fat bellys, Hulk Hogan sized arms and thick necks. This is RARE though, thus we're seeing a lot of ghetto models popping out with this form, by the minute. None of the would be so spectacular enough to be models if this new type of body was very common. Because it's not, dudes ARE paying top dollar to see the GOOD Ghetto Booties, and I can clearly see why! They're fucking stunning! They're cartoonishly shaped and even if you don't like that sized ass, it's amazing it's attached to such a smaller body with a flat stomach. The amazement is in many areas, thus it's a highly entertaining sight, the good Ghetto Booty, that is. What does a Ghetto Booty look like, in motion?
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FLAT
(Class of Ass) This
is
the ass that is of the typical white girl, Indian, Asian,
Mexican,
Central/South American (non-black ones) aka Culo Plano. It's FLAT,
there is nothing
glorious about it but to people who like an ass with no real booty meat
on it! To each his own, but at that point... you're just fucking
another dude, in my opinion, or you're wishing to fuck a small school
boy/girl, gross! This class ass is normally
connected to a long back, with a
long and/or BOX-SHAPED Mystery Spaces, and
since the ass is so flat, the ass cheeks appear to be a long
ass.
Most likely, there isn't
any muscles or much fat on a flat ass, so it's like you can iron on
this kind of ass. When you look at the actual ass, it's like
NEGATIVE ASS! It looks like the back goes right into the legs and hips!
If there
is any ass-meat at all, it's a little gathering of fat at the tip of
the
ass, way at the bottom, near the anus, and in a thong, you see that
nasty meat DANGLING! There are normally no hips on this body, but if
they do have hips, most people look at their backsides and think it's a
nice ass, it's really just WIDE. They're in love with how
much skin is showing on the body, but not really focused on the ass.
the other thing is they're focused on the Happy Gap (if applicable), or
just the poon itself, not even the ass in most cases. These kinds of
admirers just want ass out of the way, so they can see some nice poon
angles, as is evident in the Poon
Blockage writeup. They really just want
to see "THE VIEW" like this shot. This is a fan
favorite
amongst
the more European descendant and Indigenous Indians, Asians, crowds.
Where ghetto mofos like HUGE ass cheeks, the opposite likes tiny to
non-existent ass cheeks.       FLAT also comes
in a FAT,
FLAT
VERSION!!!:
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Back View
We've seen too much of this, in fashion, magazines, TV, and we were told that this was the norm. Then Latinas and Blacks burst on the fashion/HollyWood/public eye scene and these types started to feel inadequate! It started a BUTT CRAVING by white woman all over who wished to get away from this nasty ass that they own. It was OK when only white skinny flat asses were the wild, but as more ladies, with ass, caught the eyes of guys, the standard, LUCKILY changed to see that ass with curves was better. Now white women all over are bragging that they've escaped this type of flat ass, even the young white girls don't have this type of ass anymore. They're eating fatty goods, then going to the gym to shape the ass up, thus giving white chicks ass now. Any magazine you find, for ladies, will have an exclusive section to try to work away that flat ass and get it toned up. Anyway, you still have mainstream white man who loves this. There are no hips, which white guys don't like, and there isn't any ass meat, which they also don't like. It's just little flapping butt cheeks, at the bottom of the ass, and these asses, normally, look TERRIBLE in thongs and low-rider pants, yet the women continue to wear them. YUCK!! The backside is really 1 long back is what it looks like. There is nothing to palm, nothing to smack- I guess, theoretically you could PINCH it??? Most guys who like this only care to bend this ass over so they can see the poon nice and clear. To be honest with you, I understand why a guy who love poon would like to actually be able to see the poon from all angles, but I can't get down with loving the flat stuff. The other half of the fans of this butt like to penetrate deeply into a chick so they feel the can conquer something for once, others are small penis'd and this is the only way to have a butt not obstruct his field of stroke. If there is no ass in the way, can hit all her spots inside, G-spot to A-Spot (new research). So these guys might be on to something. Side
Profile What
does a Flatty look like, in motion?
... LOL let's just stop there, your poor eyes can't take anymore! |
PIG
TAIL (Class of Ass): This
class can be a funny looking droopy booty- as seen in 90% of online
booty shaking videos,
or can look like a sexy ass that is just a late
bloomer- which are the asses you see manufactured in Brasil and
Colombia. Yes manufactured because its most likely surgery
they got to
get the ass so perfect if they have this form. Most times,
however, I see it and
I laugh so much at it. It really does look like the ass of a pig, thus
it has it's name, but it's also cute in a school girl way, when done
right. Thus the other name for Pig Tails, the playful kind of
teens. This is a common ass too, especially in Asians,
Mexicans and Central/South Americas and African descendants not being
able to fill their form properly with enough rotundness. You are much
more likely to find this ass than any other ass class if you picked
random women off of the street, regardless of race. This class applies to all sizes of a
woman's backside. Most
likely, the owner of this kind of booty is supposed to be a very small
body that has a flat ass/Mystery Space (like this example here), but we
know that we grow
in sizes, as humans, so sometimes the Ass Smile of the booty stays the
same as the smaller sized body, but the booty meat and fat all
surrounding the ass crack gets larger. The 2 innermost part of the ass
cheeks are where the highest concentration of booty meat are, normally
forming 2 little booty meat balls, UNDER
THE ASS, while the ass crack is not long, or
deep. What
the end result looks like can be this ass, most likely IS that ass
today, on the bad side of the class- the ass looks like mud-flaps
connected to the legs. It just looks like you cut a shit hole slit out
in a large flat group of fat. You can also get
confused if one of these forms tries to work out her ass and build
muscle, but in my opinion her true form is much easier to see, like an
Andressa Soares. People think she has a Ghetto Booty it's
not,
it's a wide, flat Pig Tail. She has huge legs and toned ass, but the
more toned,
the EASIER it is to see. SEE FOR YOURSELF HERE. The Ass Smile erases the more
you burn the fat away, or the larger area surrounding it gets. In
the worse cases, the body type
might also have been a Sponge Bob Square
pant Flatty girl,  or at most a Tear Drop (if
they're lucky), but
because they're stumpy and pudgy women, when the fat piles on, the ass
doesn't hold up against gravity. You saw that in our Boxy Brown writeup. In
all of these types of booties, the best part (if exists) is the very
bottom of the booty, the bulb, while the top of the booty remains kind
of flat. The ass crack of this booty begins very low on the
butt and most likely there is a huge Mystery Space. The booty then
looks very long, and is worse if the ass is huge. The ass
justs buckles under
the butt and when these chicks walk, it looks like they have a diaper
on their asses, a SOGGY DIAPER FULL OF SHIT that is. lol Seriously,
they walk, they have to wobble because the ass meat is caught up under
their butt, where the HAPPY
GAP should be!
lol Look at the
pig
graphic above, just like it's ass crack, which starts of very late and
hangs low, their human counterparts' asses look like they just
roll around seamlessly into the thighs, backs and belly, with no
separation! That's EXACTLY how these asses look on humans. I've been
with a few of these chicks, Asian and Latina, plus been in their strip
clubs in the respective countries, and it's fucking FUNNY to watch them
wind their hips for you! lol On the other hand, the tighter Pig Tails, which are most likely on younger women, do look good when they're very well defined. They have very tight Ass Smiles and the part of the booty that does curve, the undercarriage of the booty, is well rounded into the back of the leg and has a nice bulb. Unlike the Tear Drop, the top of the booty is not sloped, this ass goes from back or Mystery Space, flat TOP of the butt that runs flat until meshing with the bulb of the butt- the better the bulb, the better the butt, in this case. The hottest in this class have extremely round bulbs of the butt. The weaker the Ass Smile and its creases, plus size, the worse the butt. In any case, good or bad, the curvature of the ass begins very very low on the backside. As gravity, and weight gain takes their toll, most of the other booty classes turn into this class, when not properly paid attention to. Fat doesn't collect well, under the butt, it's mostly loose, jiggly meat that morphs about from picture to picture and is like mud flaps on the back of a woman's thigh. Anyone can have a bunch of fat drooping off of a flat top of the butt, all you have to do is be a pig, and don't work out, and droopy ass just sets in. So a Pig Tail butt must be controlled, or it's total chaos. Women will then wear some type of garments that LIFT the bulb up, like it's a bra for the ass, or you see them bending over in pictures, to try to force the ass to be higher up, because they know if they arch and bend, their low hanging ass appears to bring the ass crack's to look round, as it bends and stretches over their flat asses and bones. Another very notable attribute of the Pig Tail, especially on slimmer bodies, is that most have ass cheeks that intersect at two points, way under the body. The ass cheeks round inward and meet up a point, which is all they way under the body. This is because their curvature is that low on the body that all the action is buried down there.       |
Back View Almost
related to the fat version of a flatty, the Pig Tail has a
redeeming quality- its BULB of the butt.
The fat version of a flat ass doesn't have a bulb, it just disappears
into the leg, while this one tends to have a round bulb at the bottom,
attached to a very short, or not too deep, ass crack. When
you look at the ass straight
on, the ass crack hangs low because it starts low, in most cases.
It's a late blooming
ass and more or less doesn't have a good Ass Smile, in the worse cases,
but has one of the best Ass Smiles in the best cases. Sometimes,
because
the meat of the ass looks like a long back, the ass crack can look
longer and the ass fuller, but that's only when leaning over or bending
in doggy style, which forces the ass from under the body to protrude
more upwards. In fact, all women with this ass know this, thus you see
billions of pictures with them bending over in every shot they
take. Many with this ass will forever stay in heels, to try
to
make the
ass crack look more round, as heels bends you over while you're
standing, and it wraps the bulb higher up on the butt, making that look
more full and like Tear Drop or Apple Bottom. These other 2
classes of booty do not have to arch to project the but, Pig Tails do
have to arch, because their primary spot of booty meat is all the way
under the ass. So arching, bending, wearing heels, taking pictures from
only UNDER the booty looking upward, that's their trick to even the
score. They're trying to create
a Tear Drop effect of the ass, or make it look Apple Bottom with all
this.
This
ass looks like it has the Apple Bottom jumpoff ONLY WHEN IT SERIOUSLY
BENDS AND ARCHES COMPLETELY
OVER. LOOK
HOW FAR OVER SHE HAS TO BEND TO GET THAT ASS TO LOOK LIKE IT IS PERKY
AND HIGH UP THOUGH!
This is because the ass is really UNDER the body!
See, the
meat that the bottom of the ass hangs freely and when it
collects a lot of fat, it blends seamlessly with the thighs, hips and
back, so when you're looking at it straight on, like this diagram
above, IT LOOKS LIKE IT'S BENDING OVER YET STANDING STRAIGHT UP! lol
The ass you see on these
chicks when they're bending over, is the ass you should see when
they're standing up. oN THE LARGER SIZES, when you hit them
in
doggy style, the
ass
meat droops all
over your pelvis and you can't see the poon when you want to watch
yourself go to work. This is what most ghetto booty lovers, don't care
about, so the larger Pig Tails are right up their alley. You can peel
up the ass cheeks but that ass is so
build UNDER the body that it's pointless in many angles of boning. You
have to review out POON BLOCKAGE guide for this ass. Side view  You'll
notice this ass seems like
a warped Ass Smile meets a Tear Drop form, because in the best case of
this
ass, it slopes like a tear drop, except it doesn't finish like
either mentioned. The lower back tends to be a long one, and
sometimes it's packed with back fat (especially Indigenous descendant
ladies) so before the ass
crack begins, you see this fat hump then an ass UNDER the body (see pic
section below). Sometimes the ass curls right at the bottom, with tiny
little pointy ass cheeks, and that is their real ass, then it arches
downward and IN 45degrees! YUCK! This ass hangs like mud flaps when
it's
too big and when they bend over, the ass crack does the 45 degree droop
to between the thighs. This is the worse kind of ass to hit in doggy
style, although dudes will like it because they like to see fat
slapping around when they hit it. It looks nasty! If it has a long ass
crack, the top of the ass crack doesn't part deeply, but right at the
bottom of the ass is where it only begins to separate the ass cheeks.
As more fat goes there, but the small-parted ass cheeks don't expand,
the fat is distributed to other parts of the backside and it looks like
2 slices of chicken breast for ass cheeks. Most of these
cover up
the area where the crack begins, to make the ass look more full. Pig Tail booty catches the 'spirit' for you! AssMatrix.com ADD ME- show us the goods! | MySpace Video Pana Love AssMatrix.com ADD ME- show us the goods! | MySpace Video But would Tiger hit it? AssMatrix.com ADD ME- show us the goods! | MySpace Video |
ASS
SMILE (Attribute of most Asses): An
Ass Smile is a
very common attribute of ass on regular asses, more common to see than
the completely and the more spectacular Apple Bottom, or the
ghetto crowd favorite Ghetto Blasters. The Ass Smile is not a
class
of ass, rather it's a section of the ass that is necessary in all nice
looking asses. This is what white boys used to refer to when they said
they liked a 'heart shaped ass'. They're talking about the way the
booty meat
is defined well (most likely in the bottommost/innermost sections of
booty meat), separating the cheeks well. The Ass Smile will dress
up an ass and save it from looking completely disgusting, in many
cases. When someone
has a nice Ass Smile, but a terrible looking ass, overall, a
photographer, or themselves, might bend the model over so you can see
the UNDER-ASS, where the Ass Smile exists. This is to hide the fact
that rest of the ass is disgusting and flat, fat or
non-existent. You see pics where girls look like they have nice juicy
asses, but if you look close, they've not tops to their asses- nor is
it sloped-, have
long flat backs/asses, but the bottom is so wonderfully rounded off
that you can't dismiss that ass completely. This kind of ass normally
wears panties with a large backside material to hide the long lower
back and also panties that have rounded cuts to the legs parts, so that
the Ass Smile can get accented by the panties rounding it off. If a
really flat assed chick has an Ass Smile, many guys say that's a really
nice ass. So it's the SAVIOR of asses! The Ass Smile is that definition
of ass meat, as the ass rounds off into the legs- accompanies by ass
crease that extends. A good Ass Smile
clearly separates the ass from the thighs. If this is not present,
there is no Ass Smile on a chick and her back looks like it goes right
into the legs! Yuck! The ass will look like a hunk of fat with just a
SHIT SLIT! Functionally, that is what an ass is for, but for
adoration purposes, that's NOT what we want to see an ass as! Here are the effects of the Ass Smile on a flat but getting plump butt, that is mainly only WIDENING, but not growing in booty meat. Nice VIEW though, right? Nice Happy Gap there, so many love this look, not the booty itself. The result is something that looks like you took a knife and carved that creases into flat chicken breast, doesn't it?  and here is a body that used to be tiny, but gained fat and it's starting to build booty meat. Many love this look, but not the booty itself, as you can see, it looks droopy back there.  and finally, on a big ass, with wide hips and lots of booty meat, the Ass Smile looks like it collects huge amounts of fat, with very round booty meat. However, the outsides of the booty meat has eroded, due to leg fat, and the Ass Smile's creases will move around a lot, as she poses differently. The curvature is NOT perfectly round, in reality. The Ass Smile acts like a 'catch', and lifts up the booty meat, to the eyes, making the booty look very round, even if it isn't. The bulb created is what you like, but that's not the whole picture, of the backside, thus it's an attribute on a booty, and not a class of booty. It can appear on any sized ass, but the best asses have the best Ass Smiles, because when you look at most booties, dead on from the back, it's 2-D, so it looks very uneventful, most times. Not with an Ass Smile, you're even treated to a nice Happy Gap, many times! |
Back View You'll
notice that a chick with a
Sponge Bob squarepants Flatty ass has a square torso/lower back but
then out of nowhere you spot this gorgeous rounding off at the lower
part of her ass. The shit puzzles you because it's not an over all
Apple Bottom butt, and it's not a Tear Drop really either... In this
case it's another type of ass but that under part looks really rounded
and pronounced. That, my friend, is your Ass Smile. A nicely
pulled off Ass Smile highlights a nice HAPPY GAP and if you're a fan of
camel toes and fat poon lips, THIS is what you check for on an ass.
Yes, not every ass fan is checking ladies' backsides for ass cheeks,
they're looking for the Ass Smile and what's right beyond the
Ass
Smile. Europeans and South Americans LOVE this portion of the ass and
like a typical Spot Checker, they only need to see that 1 area and
that's all they care about. That ass is Golden, to them, by
just
seeing a good Ass Smile. Sure, at first you saw a nasty long
flat
ass or Pig Tail, but at the
bottom were well defined ass cheeks! lol In their minds, immediately it
registers as an Apple Bottom would to a dude in the Hood or the Gully.
That's what the Ass Smile is, the deal breaker in what makes an ass,
the very minimal that must be present to be admired and not just be
seen as the place ladies shit from- although some of you nasty fucks
like the 1 cup 2 chicks stuff. LOL Side profile  As
you can see here,
the top of the ass could be long and flat, but at the bottom is a nice
bulbous little ass. It's not drawn with depth, here, because it's not
be mistaken for a Tear Drop. A Tear Drop features an Ass
Smile,
but not every Ass Smile on a butt makes it a Tear Drop booty.
The
butt could be ANY kind of butt, so it's drawn plainly. The
Ass
Smile is very cute to look at, and the best are
very tight looking in most cases, with cartoonisly looking curvature.
For this reason, many people mistake it for an Apple Bottom, because it
looks like the bottom of an apple. While it's
cute, it's not an Apple Bottom, it's not Ghetto Booty it's just a
portion of the ass. The ass that features this looks great on
the
beach, and if the ass is overall ugly, as long as the top of the ass is
covered up and women are using
the typical distractions they do to get you to pay attention to ONLY
the Ass Smile, men will crowd to come see it. As long as they
can
see this ass from below, they are happy to immediately praise it.
|
GRIMACE (Attribute
found on sloppy Ass): (Definition)
A sharp contortion of the face
expressive
of pain, contempt, or disgust.  If an
onion booty is a general term for a booty that brings tears of
joy to your eyes when you see it, then a GRIMACE is this
ass cheek form that makes you put on a look of disgust, because that's
the emotion
it brings to any on-looker. Although most chicks with the
Grimace affect, on their asses, tend to look like Grimace physically
(the purple character from their favorite
eatery, MC DONALDS) we're not talking about that Grimace, or even
pear-shaped lady for that matter, because of
lot of them are skinny chicks too. As opposed to
an ASS SMILE which collects fat/muscle in a rounded BULB at the bottom
of the ass, the Grimace (like the
facial expression) is when the
bottom of the ass cheek fails to be well rounded off, also not meeting
the requirements of an Apple Bottom, Tear Drop hell not
even a typical PIG TAIL OR FLATTY! When
you look at that bottom
of the
ass, a completely round bottom of the butt cheeks is cut short of
reaching to the hip, replaced with sogginess of the ass mean,
thus it's a quarter-circular shape that ends up being BLENDED
INTO THE BUTT (well whatever you call that ass area that is made up of
combination of fat from the HIP, BACK, THIGH AND BUTT). That
'college try' to look like an ass is
what's
causing a Grimace-like affect of the cheeks, like one you make with
your mouth when you're not happy but disgusted. All that look at
these asses tend to have grimaces on their faces, thus this name is
PERFECT for that type of Ass. Grimace's are most
likely to be in those with European blood/features or pure Indigenous
with no African influence, but there have been some whom have been
black with them CLICK HERE TO SEE.
Also, if someone USED to be a TearDrop or Apple Bottom, and
they get sloppy and fat, they COULD possibly go into
this category but it's more likely, Grimace shaped asses were on
FLATTY GIRLS who gained weight, but the weight
didn't get distributed properly, so the ass is still long, flat, wide
and with a small ass crack. |
Back View This ass is unpredictable in how it's going to look from day to day! It just droops and drips and flops around in pants because there is no mass to it. It's like water jiggling around in a plastic grocery store bag! Depending on the pants worn that day, along with the panty support, this ass looks different. This is the kind of ass that needs a fucking bra! Seriously! It's a shape shifter, due to jeans that bring up a saggy ass like this, but the problem is in the distribution of the fat being hoisted up by the pants. When they walk, the ass cheeks are uneven and form a long nasty crease in the ass, where there should be clear crease separation of ass and thigh. These asses flap skin over the thighs and before they're no form, the fat spreads wide when they walk, giving a nasty sharp edge look to the back of the thigh/lower hip region. Fat came in very nasty on these bodies, that then to have small ass cracks so the distribution of fat is around the bottom of the ass, which leaves the cheeks dangling. Because their bodies don't handle fat well, they're likely to have sloppy tiny love handles busting out too. These bodies, fat or skinny, are supposed to be skinny with a long, flat ass. Unlike other forms, that adapt to the fat, these don't! Fat goes everywhere but where it should go, thus the ass cheeks look disgusting! Side Profile  As just mentioned, the
worst part about this ass is the fat meat flops around the pants all
day. The result is a long ass crease under each cheek, but it's not a
steady one and will change in length with each stride. So this make
sthe fat WRAP AROUND
THE THIGH when they walk. At the most, they
could have a longer ass crack and have more fat on the butt, but
because it's fat and not solid, it's going to droop and still give
the appearance of an Arch Enemy aka SaddleBags. No matter the body
type, when you have
this ass attribute, it will wrap that droopy meat around towards
outside of
thigh. The overall appearance is like a mud flap for the
tires of your car, but on your ass! This ass ends up looking very flat
like flap jacks
of ass laying on top of a flat butt. |
| LARGE
MARGE (Attribute of FLAT/ PIG TAIL Ass): This one right here... it's really on par with the overly large bad Ghetto Booty chicks... we really shouldn't even give it two minutes of talk time, but since we covered the rest, we mind as well say our piece on this. This large, jiggly, monstrocity is a favorite of old ghetto dudes and trailer park dwellers and mountain men who have no qualms with fucking a farm animal every once in a while. She's BIG in everything you see on her, except her ass cheeks only materials as the very bottom tip of the ass, normally forming sharp ridges of ass cheeks. Her shoulders are even fat! There is nothing small about this and many just love the HUGE backside she has. What she has back there isn't even an ass, it's just a large amount of space that feels soft when you hit it from the back. You also don't have to look at her face all you see is that huge water buffalo fat collection that she calls an ass, hit you in the chest (yes the fat on her ass is that much). Most dudes are spot checkers, so they can zone out and not see the huge love handles and Cheetos stuck in her fat folds, while they're going to work on this. You've seen her too, a hot ghetto mess chick coming out in the summer with bikini tops and thongs showing, and the rest of her body spilling out onto the streets ,through her clothes. She's built like Jabba the Hut stuck in a Pizza Hut. Still, dudes love this body! Actually, I think the secret is that she has to overcompensate for not having a good body, so she'll do anal sex, let you cum in her mouth, all kinds of 'freaky' things that pretty bitches think they're too damn good to do, lately. That's more likely the reason for the rise in demand for this chick. She mostly likely can cook well too, shit she sure loves to eat, so dudes will wife this up to get those benefits, but be fucking chicks on the side, of course. Where you see a white skinned woman, latinas or just white, you'll surely find some African American on her arm! He won't fuck his own kind if she has this ass, but he will surely fuck a white girl with this kind of ass. LOL WTF is up with that? |
Back
View  Argh, this is the chick that thinks she's THICK because all the dudes tell her that she is so they can bag that! It's a sloppy package all together. The hips are wide, the ass cheeks are droopy and long and the inner thigh meat causes her to wobble when she walks. This ass jiggles so sloppily when she walks and when you see it naked, you don't know where the back ends, the butt begins and which part is the thigh vs the butt. If you really looked at it, it looks like someone was really tiny and expanded sideways, leaving the tiny ass meat right at the ass crack and that didn't expand. YOU ARE NOT THICK, YOU ARE WIDE AND FLAT! This is your grandmother's ass, on a 20 year old chick! Ewww! If you'd hit this kind of ass, you'd surely fuck a dog, deer or rabbit even, because the ass cheeks are the same size. eeehh naaaaahhh... it's not worth a side view... |
The
top of the ass, and the point at which the rotund ass begins to bulb,
is the difference maker between this and an Apple Bottom or Ghetto
Booty. The ass begins to form on a slant, coming off of the
back, and shortly after begins and exaggerated sloped-bulbed ass that
finishes in a complete roundness! Not only does it look like a TearDrop
but when you see it, you're definitely likely to shed a teardrop. It's
shape is also Aerodynamic, perfect for pouring chocolate syrup down her
spine. This provide a great view in Doggy Style (Ponte en cuatro style)
because as the ass cheeks spread, it looks gorgeous! The best
effect is a super slim waist with this kind of butt. Most
pictures of these women are filmed form underneath the ass because the
top of the ass just doesn't have the bump like Apple Bottoms. So as not
to make non-Tear Drop fans lose hope, most directors will film this
butt from underneath. This bulb of the booty, on some of the worst
butts, fails to properly gather fat, and as a result, the top of the
booty has roundess, but the bottom can be lumpy. In this case, the butt
is in the process of morphing between booty classes, as it's most
likely the booty is now getting more weight but genetics is not
spreading the fat evenly. The result is a droopy Tear Drop that is too
lose and flattens when the woman moves about. A real Tear Drop's bulb
stays plump in all angles, because that bulb has a solid enough
colleciton of fat, or is reenforced with muscles for the bottom of the
butt, which causes it to protrude in 3-D, at the bottom. The better the
bulb, the better the booty, because it's the special effect of this
butt. So any butt like this, suffering to fill out its bulb, will not
be a pleasant site. 
FLAT
FLAT
FLAT!!! This booty
can't even wear a THONG OR BIKINI PROPERLY!
PHOTO EXAMPLES
Sometimes it's hard to put images to the words read, well let's visualize then... on some of the odder ones
| ASS
SMILE
|
ASS
SMILE
   |
|
GRIMACE
|
GRIMACE
      |
LARGE
MARGE |
LARGE MARGE
  |
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